


Building Trump's Wall

by cutielemon07



Category: Actor RPF, Baseball RPF, Political RPF
Genre: Gen, Mentions of A-Rod, Mentions of George Lopez, Mentions of Luis Guzman, Mentions of Wilmer Valderrama, Supposed to be Crack, but I guess it's almost reality now, donald trump's wall, lots of Hispanic people, not a friends episode, oh god why did i write this, the one with Mexico
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-30 00:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8511691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutielemon07/pseuds/cutielemon07
Summary: Donald Trump is president and he's determined to get his wall built, even if it means also using famous people and not paying them to cut down the costs.Enter Lin-Manuel Miranda.





	

So the unthinkable happened and Donald Trump became President. He went ahead with his building of the wall. Rather, he forced all the Latinxs and Hispanics to do it, regardless of country of origin because all Hispanics are from Mexico, right?

Even famous Hispanics were forced in on it. Some of them were in New Mexico, building the wall there. That's where Donald Trump's Wall Police assigned playwright Lin-Manuel Miranda

"For Trump's sake! I was born in New York! And my parents are Puerto Rican not Mexican!" Lin shouted as he was dragged along by the Wall Police. "I wrote Hamilton! I've won a million Tonys! I've got a Pulitzer! I've almost got an EGOT and a PEGOT!"

"That won't help you against the Wall Police." A woman walked up to Lin and the two Wall Police agents. "I'm Sonia Sotomayor and I was a Supreme Court Justice."

"I'm Lin-Manuel Miranda, the playwright." He said. "You were a Supreme Court Justice?" He raised an eyebrow. The Wall Police threw him down to the ground.

"Yes." Sonia nodded. She held out her hand to help Lin up.

"Wow. Nobody's safe from his majesty Donald Trump." Lin shook his head.

"Nope. Nobody." Sonia shook her head. "Since you're going to be with us, probably forever, let me introduce you to everyone."

Lin cautiously nodded and followed Sonia. "Over there mixing the cement is Carlos Santana, Pedro Martinez, Guillermo Del Toro and Shakira. Doing the bricklaying is Pitbull, Soledad O'Brien, Carlos Mencia, Louis CK, Sofia Vergara and Mario Lopez. Almost everyone else is digging. Except Luis Guzman, he's..."

Lin nodded but stopped paying attention after Luis Guzman.

"Hey, Lin!" He was snapped from his thoughts by someone calling his name. "Lin!" He looked and saw a frizzy haired and freckled young man waving to him from the trench.

"Anthony Ramos?"

"I didn't think I'd see you again!" Anthony dropped his shovel and climbed out of the trench. He rushed up to Lin and the two shared an embrace.

"Where's Javier?" Lin asked.

"You didn't hear? He's building the wall in Texas." Anthony rolled his eyes. "Beats being stuck here listening to Charlie Sheen complaining. It's not so bad here, Lin. You'll get used to it. When the Wall Police are sleeping, we all defy them and speak Spanish to each other."

"What happens if you speak Spanish when they're awake?"

"Ask Luis Guzman." Anthony replied, voice low.

"Hey! 38826F9, back to work!" One of the Wall Police yelled out.

Anthony's smile instantly vanished and he backed away from Lin to go and dig in the trench.

"Did they just-?"

"Yes. Everyone has a number. I'm taking you to get assigned yours." Sonia replied.

"What happens when you get assigned a number?" Lin asked.

"Well, you get a device injected under your skin that explodes if you leave a certain area without permission. Oh and you can never see your family again." Another man said. He was hauling a bag of cement along the ground.

"You're joking, right?" Lin asked.

"Ha. You wish." The other man rolled his eyes. "I'm Oscar Isaac. I was in Star Wars Episode VII and X-Men Apocalypse."

"Lin-Manuel Miranda. I wrote Hamilton and In the Heights. And I wrote a song for The Force Awakens."

"No way, man!" Oscar chuckled. "We need to hang out once the Wall Police go to sleep. I'll find you later, yeah?"

"Sure." Lin nodded.

"Hey! 61739U7, that cement won't haul itself!" Another Wall Police yelled out.

Oscar simply nodded and carried on hauling the cement bag, dropping it at Pedro Martinez's feet.

"The Hamilton guy's here." He said as Pedro picked up the bag.

"Yeah, he's digging the trench, isn't he?" Pedro asked.

"No, the writer."

"I don't know why you're so surprised, Oscar, we have a Supreme Court Justice here after all." Pedro shrugged and tipped the bag of cement into the cement mixer.

"I don't know, I just am." Oscar shrugged as he began to mix some concrete.

"Hey! You two! 76982G1 and 6739U7! Stop talking and more working!" The same Wall Police screeched.

"We are working!" Pedro called back out. "Talking boosts productivity."

"Shut up, 76982G1!"

"You going to lock me up like you did to Luis Guzman?"

"87282J2 had to be locked up for his and everyone else's own good!"

"Pedro, shush." Oscar said in a hushed tone.

"I don't like this at all." Pedro shook his head.

"None of us do." Another voice said.

"Hey Valdes." Pedro said.

"How did solitary treat you?" Oscar asked. The two continued to mix the cement.

"I was told my show The Flash got cancelled. So there's that." Carlos shrugged.

"The Hamilton guy's here." Oscar said offhandedly.

"Really?" Carlos brightened. "Didn't expect him to be at this Wall Camp." He said. "Then again, I didn't expect a Supreme Court Justice, Guillermo Del Toro or Louis CK to be here either."

"Nobody really expected the Supreme Court Justice. She's giving the Hamilton guy a tour." Oscar turned on the cement mixer.

"He know about the suicide chips?" Carlos asked, rubbing the inside of his left elbow.

Oscar nodded grimly. "I told him."

Pedro let out a low whistle. "Sucks to be him."

"Sucks to be all of us." Carlos corrected.

Oscar went over to the tools and began to choose cementing equipment.

"I still can't believe they kidnapped Shakira." Pedro nodded over to Shakira, mixing cement a few hundred yards down. "It's almost not fair."

"What do you mean 'almost'?" Carlos asked. "It isn't fair."

They looked at Shakira and her team mixing cement until they were yelled at by the Wall Police.

* * *

"I don't understand how Trump could do this." Shakira said.

"He's the President." Mario Lopez answered.

"It shouldn't give him the authority to do whatever he wants." Oscar Nunez pointed out. "He's only the president of America."

"And it doesn't give him the authority to do this." Shakira argued. "Where's the UN?"

"Don't care." Mario shrugged. "Maybe he threatened to press the big red button if he could get away with enslaving Hispanics and Latinos to work in these Wall Camps."

"The Hamilton guy is here." Oscar Nunez said. "The writer. Just saw him with Sonia Sotomayor."

"Good luck to him." Shakira said. "The poor man is going to need it."

* * *

Sonia brought Lin to the medical tent where Hector Elizondo, Michael Pena, Salma Hayak and Manny Ramirez were all hanging about.

"What is this?" Lin asked.

"You need to be assigned a number." Sonia said.

"That's my job." Hector said. He picked up a clipboard and ran his finger along the paper until he came across a free number. He picked up his pen and put a tick by the number. He looked back up at Lin. "Okay. Your number is 08276H6. This will be your new name and identity. Memorise it."

Manny Ramirez approached Lin carrying a needle. "Now I'm going to inject this chip into your left elbow"

"What?! No!" Lin scrambled away.

"It has to be done, 08...2 um... 76H6." Manny said. "Don't worry, I'm good with needles. You won't feel a thing until the Wall Police decide you're disobedient and kill you. Like poor old George Lopez."

"Or you make a run for it like Alex Rodriguez." Michael Pena said.

"Or you wander too far away from camp like Wilmer Valderrama." Salma Hayak winced.

"Wait, what?!" Lin panicked. But before he realised it, Manny had already grabbed his arm and injected the chip under his skin.

Salma handed Lin a barely folded up white jumpsuit-the same white jumpsuit everyone else had been wearing-and looked on him with pity.

"Sorry, but you belong to Trump now." Sonia shook her head. "We all do."

**Author's Note:**

> This was written between a friend and I before Trump... You know. And the only reason we wrote it is because we didn't think Trump would... You know.  
> We listed off all the Hispanics that we could remember. But we wanted it to centre on the Hamilton guy and the Supreme Court Justice, just because of the absurdity of them being, as intelligent as they are, forced to build Trump's wall. I'm making the choice to publish it today, regardless of... You know. Just so people can have a laugh one last time before the world turns to pure awful.  
> I don't even have a say in the election, I'm British. Neither does my friend, who is Israeli.


End file.
